A Tribute to Yesterday...

Fifty quiet moons have passed
Since I saw you smile last;
Since we have parted ways
On the forked roads of life.

I wonder now, as I wondered then
How cruel the universe could be,
With a force of blinding, inconsolable pain
It stole you away from me.

Fate had extinguished all happiness within me;
Left me to pick up the broken pieces
Of a life I knew not what to do with -
A lone soldier in a sea of unfamiliar faces.

Survive I did, clawing back inch by inch
With the help of an angelic soulmate
Letting time heal those deep wounds
Giving myself new reasons to love and pray.

And now I cannot cry as easily;
Nor feel the warmth of moments we shared.
Try as I may I cannot guage fully anymore
The knowledge of what it felt to be cared for.

Yet there are days like today,
When I think of what could have been.
Had you not been so many worlds away
We would be sharing a future still.

No matter how many miles I have left to go
Through life's sunshine and rain;
The remnants of our beautiful love
In the depths of my psyche will remain.

Desire. Despair.
Grief. Healing.
Passion. Past.
Nightmares. Light.
Questions. Silence.
Torture. Patience.
Time. Deliverance.
Numb. Awake.
Death..... Hope.

Its two years since that night so dark. I can still get lost sometimes in the tides of the grim and almost maddening sadness that I went through back then. Its never been the same and will probably never be again. I to this day take solace in the fact that someone somewhere owes me one more rendezvous with you. Till that day comes, I will remain waiting.

A white rose to the undying love that is you.......